Thursday, March 11, 2010

An Invocation

Is time for tidal waves
Shall we steel our blood to curdle our hedonistic cries some more
The ones that go unheard
The ones we stifle and cover and deny
Until we get our way
But will we ever get our way

My body rushes to altars that will not have me
Refuse even to notice my love
While I bend at the knees in reverence
In anguish
In parallellitude

Are we desperate
No more than aching beasts in gowns and tuxedos lauding equality and guilt-like mannerism
Is it fitting to turn away from such hunger
Do you sleep at night while I turn in my knotted sheets of deviancy

And if I really wanted matrimony
Why do you care
Why do you still deny the craving to stand before a room that swells with the breasts of crones at howl
Claiming “till death”
Simply to have the last word in our war

It is not I who needs a cure
Alone, I am more than the description of my parts and their cleaving to similarity
Body carved out of the etheric, caustic copulating of Goddesses dispersed throughout the cosmos
Call me what you will
I know my place among the stars

I will swill your wine
And walk upon your ranks
And bow to you if it is necessary
But I promise you will not escape my rage
The compromises I’ve withstood
My arm, a bow and arrow, will take its aim
Cupid’s kiss

You will see my love
A sure fit
You will cover your cheeks as I reach for you
And when I touch you, you will know your truth
Nature lining our skirts
The mirrors will become shadows to the soul-less haunt you left in your wake
As you denied me
As you doomed me
As you dedicated your votes to God
Whose weary eyes indeed turned from a fight ancient and uncalled for

You vomit the words of biblical poets dead and gone
But who are you
Who are you when you stand before your will
And what do you truly will when in my presence you cannot argue with the validity of my spirit

I live not to bury governments
But to resurrect Gods and Goddesses whose effigies tremble in indiscriminate discord
Shun me and shun yourself
Shun me and shun yourself
Shun me and shun yourself
And to what end

What will you claim for your spoils
The right to chain me to my wishes
Hearts buried in soot and soil and seeping through to saturation
I would condemn you too
But protest is only successful when we can love who we are protesting against as much as we love the one whom we would stand next to and exchange rings and vows and longing looks and bites of flawlessness

If I hold your hand and place it upon my exposed chest
Will you feel my humanity
Will you recognize me as kinfolk
Will you understand why I want what I want as much as you want what you want
Can we agree to disagree in a way that allows me equality, simultaneously

Do you know how you make me weep
Do you know how you take from me what I would willingly give if it were not so vehemently withheld
Do you know how you keep me from fully embodying the American Dream
Do you know that the American Dream is irreparably fractured
Do you know that you are flawed in your attempts to break me
Do you know that we are all minorities within certain sects
Do you know that you could be me
Six degrees baby

You could be my mother
My father
My brother
My sister
My teacher
My cousin
My friend
My lover

For just a moment, though
Imagine that you and I are interchangeable
That we wear one another’s skin
That my fight is your fight
Is it so easy to call me a degenerate
Is it so easy to condemn yourself as you do me
Is it so easy to say I should not marry
That my heart is diseased and wrong and perverted and confused and irreligious and hell-bound

If you can imagine such a world
Where those we hate most become our own fleshy wandering
Would you so quickly give in to the intolerance you have laid upon my head in sentence
Or would you relinquish your venom
Remove your fangs
And relent your point

All I want is to be married… to another woman
Is that so awful