Saturday, February 13, 2010

Howling at the Moon

I’m fully awake in my rage tonight
Nails sharpened to snaggly talons scraping at the fibrous black patterns choking me
When your mouth hung loose I ate the air that escaped
It dazzled me, the thought of filling up my belly on your wines
My legs cannot carry me fast enough to reach the white-hearted moon child riding on the backs of all that is moving
Moving every filmy figure out of her way
I am
Closer now to being in her way
Choosing to engulf her madness
Like rain water from the gods sliding down my wide opened throat
The dark bird is settling into her knotted nest squawking and craning its stiff neck to let the sound filter into the psychedelic thoughts dancing past
I am
One of those thoughts
Heavy with coins to toss into the vastness spreading out like wildfires
Hopes for new days to come
New moons to ravage
In my haste, I will pour a little shine into her void
All the masks are jumping off the walls here and it is affecting me like cotton mouth
That sensation of dry swallowing, squeezing every drop of moisture under the tongue, begging for it to stick around but it never does till you end up gulping at the water you ignored for too long: that’s me
Twisting and twirling my hair ‘round dizzy fingers getting tangled up in those talons that have bloody sprouted
I am
Shaking my fists at a mocking sky
Demanding reprieve from a deaf cosmological ear now crest-fallen
Hurting in my wander, barefoot and sheer searching for shelter from these temptations to call it all worthless
All the prayers that have hung themselves like nooses made of exquisite pearls so shimmering in their appeal
I’d appeal to the ‘highest’ yet she’s too busy spinning, opening and closing her eyes amid shadow constellations to notice me upon her heels and that cotton mouth feeling is back again
And in mid-sentence, I realize I have been holding my breath since I was thirteen
That’s the day I forgot how to scream
And here, tonight, finally
I am
Ready to howl

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